Kapnigzig is a god.

She takes the form of a small, contented goat.

Kapnigzig created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Kapnigzig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kapnigzig, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Kapnigzig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Kapnigzig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never paint your neck gray.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about comets.