Flamgetsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, awesome hedgehog.

Flamgetsom created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamgetsom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flamgetsom, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Flamgetsom's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Flamgetsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Never feed gooseberries to swans while wearing pink scarves.

3. Run away if six tapirs approach from the west.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

5. Never laugh near shrews.