Veenbastbus is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unjust duck.

Veenbastbus created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenbastbus, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veenbastbus, he will cry a lot.

Veenbastbus' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Veenbastbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Always obey Veenbastbus' priests.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.