Nib is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, ruthless porpoise.

Nib created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nib, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nib, he will jump up and down on your head.

Nib's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Nib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to foxes while wearing brown tights.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Run away from fawn grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always obey Nib's priests.