Satcudciss is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sapient giraffe.

Satcudciss created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satcudciss, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Satcudciss, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Satcudciss' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Satcudciss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed garlic to turtles while wearing violet boots.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never look at galaxies.