Guphan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, happy frog.

Guphan created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guphan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Guphan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Guphan's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Guphan's Holy Commandments

1. Guphan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to pigs while wearing brown kilts.