Garbaptal is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty finch.

Garbaptal created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garbaptal, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Garbaptal, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Garbaptal's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Garbaptal's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Seals are not to be trusted.

3. Never paint your hands mauve.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Garbaptal on top of important buildings.