Gamarpnul is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, cheerful scorpion.

Gamarpnul created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamarpnul, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gamarpnul, he will turn you into a mole.

Gamarpnul's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gamarpnul's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Worship no other gods but Gamarpnul.

4. Never feed pineapples to foxes while wearing magenta ear rings.

5. Do not listen to music.