Kikved is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, two-faced human.

Kikved created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikved, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kikved, he will turn you into a rock.

Kikved's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Kikved's Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to swans while wearing purple jumpers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Kikved in the centre of the settlement.