Cat Bimfotlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sage turtle.

Cat Bimfotlarp created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cat Bimfotlarp, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cat Bimfotlarp, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cat Bimfotlarp's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Cat Bimfotlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Run away if three foxes approach from the south.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away from purple hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.