Dimpak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid walrus.

Dimpak created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimpak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dimpak, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dimpak's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Dimpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Dimpak's priests.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not keep five mice in a large pit.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.