Gessmancam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, strong alligator.

Gessmancam created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessmancam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gessmancam, it will not care at all.

Gessmancam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gessmancam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of garlic to monkeys while wearing pink corsets.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gessmancam.