Nulfoncuttargunquim is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered swan.

Nulfoncuttargunquim created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulfoncuttargunquim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nulfoncuttargunquim, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nulfoncuttargunquim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Nulfoncuttargunquim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.