Minbessveen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental deer.

Minbessveen created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minbessveen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Minbessveen, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Minbessveen's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Minbessveen's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Minbessveen seven times a day.

2. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about asteroids.