Quillcissing is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, benevolent porpoise.

Quillcissing created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillcissing, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quillcissing, it will destroy your home planet.

Quillcissing's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Quillcissing's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

3. Quillcissing loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.