Futfengum is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful hamster.

Futfengum created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Futfengum, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Futfengum, she will manifest in front of you.

Futfengum's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Futfengum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve rings.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed aubergines to geese while wearing jumpers.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never pour water over plants.