Tofsitlan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tranquil grasshopper.

Tofsitlan created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Tofsitlan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tofsitlan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tofsitlan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tofsitlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near tapirs while wearing red shirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your chest.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not chop down trees.