Shavtonkgat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, intelligent squid.

Shavtonkgat created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Shavtonkgat, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Shavtonkgat, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Shavtonkgat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Shavtonkgat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. You must pray to Shavtonkgat seven times a day.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.