Flabjinlig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart hydra.

Flabjinlig created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flabjinlig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flabjinlig, she will turn you into a mouse.

Flabjinlig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Flabjinlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Never think about optics near swans while wearing indigo stockings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Always stare at clouds.