Wabonthan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, awe-inspiring bat.

Wabonthan created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabonthan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabonthan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wabonthan's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Wabonthan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to goats while wearing white shorts.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Feed all hungry tapirs.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing green boots and balancing seven tin spheres on your head.