Loptimgub is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, deceitful fly.

Loptimgub created the Tadpole Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Loptimgub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Loptimgub, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Loptimgub's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Loptimgub's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Loptimgub loves pigs, so they must be respected.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the east.