Dussfenbum Kem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fussy meerkat.

Dussfenbum Kem created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussfenbum Kem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dussfenbum Kem, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dussfenbum Kem's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Dussfenbum Kem's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hide from black ants for they are unholy.