Flapbagmid is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow hyena.

Flapbagmid created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbagmid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapbagmid, he will throw large rocks at you.

Flapbagmid's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flapbagmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not take Flapbagmid's name in vain.

4. Hide if five hamsters approach from the east.

5. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Flapbagmid in the centre of the settlement.