Jigquafgab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, calm owl.

Jigquafgab created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigquafgab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jigquafgab, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jigquafgab's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jigquafgab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jigquafgab first in all things.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Jigquafgab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Retreat if four manatees approach from the south.

5. You must never eat strawberries.