Dotxucklan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciless walrus.

Dotxucklan created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotxucklan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dotxucklan, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dotxucklan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Dotxucklan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dotxucklan.

2. Erect four silver sculptures of Dotxucklan on top of important buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never eat green fruit.