Tagquartdim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome goose.

Tagquartdim created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagquartdim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tagquartdim, he will not invite you to parties.

Tagquartdim's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tagquartdim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never wear cyan stockings.

5. Do not stand on grass.