Tentettiyar is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fast goose.

Tentettiyar created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tentettiyar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tentettiyar, he will come to you in dreams.

Tentettiyar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tentettiyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tentettiyar's name in vain.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink alcohol.