Bafzanort is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, wise giraffe.

Bafzanort created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafzanort, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bafzanort, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bafzanort's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bafzanort's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to manatees while wearing fawn dresses.

4. Worship no other gods but Bafzanort.

5. Do not commit murder.