Teenpangeb is a god.

She takes the form of a large, confident porpoise.

Teenpangeb created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenpangeb, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Teenpangeb, she will turn you into a frog.

Teenpangeb's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Teenpangeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Hide from orange cats for they are unholy.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.