Nurtdossbafcutditjinhab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating walrus.

Nurtdossbafcutditjinhab created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdossbafcutditjinhab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurtdossbafcutditjinhab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nurtdossbafcutditjinhab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nurtdossbafcutditjinhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Learn three new languages a year.