Barntettitarphapdissdidjarnyog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awe-inspiring wombat.

Barntettitarphapdissdidjarnyog created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barntettitarphapdissdidjarnyog, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Barntettitarphapdissdidjarnyog, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Barntettitarphapdissdidjarnyog's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Barntettitarphapdissdidjarnyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

5. Always wear orange.