Teenfumkan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, annoying newt.

Teenfumkan created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfumkan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Teenfumkan, she will strike you with lightening.

Teenfumkan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Teenfumkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Teenfumkan loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Dolphins are not to be trusted.