Gongemmotciss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering walrus.

Gongemmotciss created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gongemmotciss, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gongemmotciss, it will destroy your home solar system.

Gongemmotciss' most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gongemmotciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.