Natbonkven is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful crocodile.

Natbonkven created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natbonkven, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Natbonkven, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Natbonkven's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Natbonkven's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Natbonkven on top of all buildings.