Dagtofcamxin is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered fish.

Dagtofcamxin created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagtofcamxin, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dagtofcamxin, it will not care at all.

Dagtofcamxin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dagtofcamxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.