Montadwontaftag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, wise dog.

Montadwontaftag created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Montadwontaftag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Montadwontaftag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Montadwontaftag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Montadwontaftag's Holy Commandments

1. Montadwontaftag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about nematodes.