Omtvinart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful troll.

Omtvinart created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtvinart, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Omtvinart, it will throw large rocks at you.

Omtvinart's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Omtvinart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Run away from red hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Hide if nine geese approach from the west.

4. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Omtvinart in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not stand on grass.