Midrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, quiet aardvark.

Midrutt created the Sol system two million years ago.

If you believe in Midrutt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Midrutt, she will turn you into a hamster.

Midrutt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Midrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Put Midrutt first in all things.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near seals while wearing gray stockings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your arms.

3. Midrutt must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.