Fotsogbud is a god.

She takes the form of a large, self-confident scorpion.

Fotsogbud created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotsogbud, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fotsogbud, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fotsogbud's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fotsogbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Worship no other gods but Fotsogbud.

3. Never hurt whales.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Never talk about dark energy near bats while wearing turquoise jumpers and balancing four lead spheres on your face.