Gilvabran is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome beaver.

Gilvabran created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilvabran, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gilvabran, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gilvabran's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gilvabran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Put Gilvabran first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.