Volbitcam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty fox.

Volbitcam created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Volbitcam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Volbitcam, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Volbitcam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Volbitcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Run away if four otters approach from the north.

5. Feed all hungry hamsters.