Zigcabfumvidquaggiggencet is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, quiet cat.

Zigcabfumvidquaggiggencet created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigcabfumvidquaggiggencet, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zigcabfumvidquaggiggencet, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zigcabfumvidquaggiggencet's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zigcabfumvidquaggiggencet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple gulls for they are unholy.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about dark matter near dogs while wearing black shoes and balancing three lead spheres on your face.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.