Bisstonbun is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate spider.

Bisstonbun created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisstonbun, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bisstonbun, he will destroy your home planet.

Bisstonbun's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bisstonbun's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bisstonbun six times a day.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Do not kill snakes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.