Fitflamtik is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured butterfly.

Fitflamtik created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitflamtik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitflamtik, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fitflamtik's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fitflamtik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fitflamtik.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near birds while wearing cyan tights and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near sharks while wearing purple boots.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.