Flagnuttab Carcabgum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring goblin.

Flagnuttab Carcabgum created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagnuttab Carcabgum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flagnuttab Carcabgum, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flagnuttab Carcabgum's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flagnuttab Carcabgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Never talk about gravity near rats while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing six platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.