Hugbesspidjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, egotistical duck.

Hugbesspidjarn created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugbesspidjarn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hugbesspidjarn, he will be very unhappy.

Hugbesspidjarn's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Hugbesspidjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hugbesspidjarn must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never wear yellow tights.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Hugbesspidjarn in the centre of the settlement.