Targmitpan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, deceitful cat.

Targmitpan created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targmitpan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Targmitpan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Targmitpan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Targmitpan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight birds approach from the south.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing black skirts.