Wapditfem is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental goose.

Wapditfem created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapditfem, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wapditfem, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Wapditfem's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Wapditfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to cats while wearing purple jumpers.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always treat pigs with great respect.