Hamtailcim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful ant.

Hamtailcim created the Sol system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtailcim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hamtailcim, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hamtailcim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hamtailcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never sprint in the presence of foxes.

5. Never feed lots of peanuts to ants while wearing indigo tights.