Tofbogwip is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless pigeon.

Tofbogwip created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofbogwip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tofbogwip, he will not invite you to parties.

Tofbogwip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tofbogwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near sheep.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Tofbogwip on top of all buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always pray immersed in water.